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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT


HOLY SHIT, look at that guy!

All those presents! How many girlfriends does a person need? I wonder if they're real girlfriends or just escorts he's grown friendly with over the course of his life. I wish I had that situation going on. I could if I applied myself. Although I should save my money, not spend it all.

I'll bet he's got one of those fancy 1960's-style bachelor studio apartments with mirrored wallpaper. I should go interview him with a cheap tape recorder and put cocktail music in the background and make an MP3 to upload and distribu- oh right, my cord thing is broken. Never mind.

*SIGH*

All these PEOPLE taking up valuable chairs. Does everyone have the weekend off? Do they ALL work nine to five, Monday to Friday?

Can't you folks go to the beach? Or HIKING or HANG-GLIDING or some other idiotic extreme sport that gets you killed so I can sit down?

WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE TO BE DOING WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING??

They just sit there and goof off and drink and do nothing. Where does their money come from? How come it's me who has to fucking stress out all the time and they get to live their lives in relative comfort? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
And they're all drinking the same coffee from the same paper cups wrapped in the same cardboard holders.

REAL ORIGINAL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

If only my company would make java jackets. THAT'S how to get our message delivered to people. Real people, with real e-commerce needs.
And where's my coffee?

Don't I get any?

HELLO, AM I ON THIS PLANET TOO?

ARE WE ALL TOTALLY STONED AND IGNORANT TODAY?

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