Traffic & Transit Authority

Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes

The banana peel abandoned on Pendleton avenue was an accident waiting to happen.

The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer. She had just purchased a large, hot beverage and a pastry.

The second victim slipped but didn't fall. He skidded along the sidewalk about thirty feet before righting himself.

It was almost an embarrassing moment.

The third victim was the first victim again! She just wasn't looking and forgot it was there.

So that makes two wasted soy drinks and two apricot vegan scones totalling over ten dollars!
Soon, an enterprising college graduate attended the scene.

He removed from his utility belt a pair of modestly priced barbecue tongs.
He lifted the banana peel up from the pavement and carried it across the street to a nearby green-friendly trash can!

Delighted onlookers began to applaud and cheer!
Then, an oncoming car struck him down and broke every bone in his body.

Even the driver was unable to avoid the banana peel.
Rush-hour traffic slipped and careened out of control, plowing into crowds and smashing through shop windows.

"Everything was skidding around like hockey players on a frozen lake," one witness volunteered.
Exacerbating an already unthinkable tragedy, the street itself was in fact an actual frozen lake!
Heavier vehicles cracked through the ice and sank.

Dozens were drowned in frigid, cloudy waters.

It is unclear what became of the banana peel.
i like banana bread but that's about it! REMEMBER AALIYAH
plz add me to the list and send me pix
i laughed and laughed until i closed the browser window and forgot about this place