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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
Perhaps they're never seen again. Or perhaps heat from the sun allows the balloons to remain aloft for years and years! Their lifeless forms could dangle above us forever, offering the world unassailable evidence of an intriguing, contemporary, relevant product which truly delivers.
The other spot portraying businessmen in smart suits & ties, bored of their wives and office jobs was similarly effective. Yes, it looked a bit like everything else out there, but that's not the thrust of this correspondence.
May I marvel for just a moment at the cumbersome, expensive cylinder of helium I was forced to purchase in addition to the balloon?
VERY ANNOYING.

Why was I foolish enough to assume the required gases might be included? Where do you people get off forcing me to locate a vendor?

Lifting someone off the ground requires a large amount of helium, as it turns out - much more than I think you folks let on. The whole process made me feel fat.

I might have rented the tank had I known I'd be around long enough to return it.
As I left the store, the clerk was all:

"THROWIN' A BIG PARTY? HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD GIRL THIS YEAR????"

Obviously not, but how am I supposed to answer a question like that? I offered no real response that I can remember.
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