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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
Yes, here's me again. Dragging the cylinder up onto the bus and all but throwing my back out.

Thanks for the help, GENTLEMEN.

That's why boys never get laid: they're too dopey or shy to perform simple favors. Everything's infused with sexual harassment lawsuit paranoia these days. Goddamnit, just help the lady.

I guess it's wrong of me to assume they want to get laid or even that they know what getting laid means. Looking at their bleak stares, I just want to get home as soon as possible.
On board, I hear grumbling. Like I'm the handicapped passenger who puts the bus on hold for twenty minutes so the driver can crank down the wheelchair ramp.
No doubt everyone here thinks I'm toting along a big ol' tank of nitrous oxide. To these people I'm just another dumbshit raver girl going home after school for an evening of whippets behind the barn.

Long story short, the unspoken judgement from these total strangers grows unbearable and I ring for the very next stop.

How wonderful that I get to spend the last few moments of my life dealing with this shit.

My one wish: a rapid, uninterrupted levitation i
nto a pocket of our atmosphere with little or no oxygen so I can suffocate peacefully.

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