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Self Contained
Making friends, working hard, and actively pursuing personal goals.
Mon Apr 8 2002 3:28pm
 
The Christmas Time Suicide Balloon
CONSUMER ALERT: Are our Christmas Time Suicide Balloons safe?
Fri Dec 14 2001 2:24pm
Nobody Came To My Winter Solstice Party
I'm not accusing anyone, just asking why and what gives.
Mon Nov 5 2001 9:49pm
Rhapsody In Yellow
Weather supercenter forecast: clear skies with light patches of severe thunderstorms.
Tue Oct 30 2001 10:00am
The Chinese Sticks
For my first trick, I must ask for nothing less than complete silence.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:39am
There's A Girl I Like
Prayer thoughts for high school boys of dating age.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:34am
 
Manage Your Web Dollars!
Understanding Cyberspace presents a rotating panel of tech leaders and industry professionals.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
Banana Peel Snarls Southbound Lanes
The first victim was a 21 year old perfume and fragrance retailer.
Mon Oct 22 2001 1:30am
You Sure Are Stupid
A collection of found photographs with accompanying poignant sentiment.
Mon Oct 22 2001 12:26am
Crashing and Burning
Yes! We have recommendations for you in tech support jokes, abortion gags, and toilet humor.
Sun Oct 21 2001 1:37am
The Javascript Doctor
I'm back, refreshed - and ready to tackle your questions! Won't you open your hearts and let me in?
Thu Oct 18 2001 11:22pm
 
 
WARNING: BONERS LOOSE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT
I recall precisely the last time I touched it. I wasn't outside, I was in my room. I remember feeling the bendy plastic and staring at the thin magnetic strip. These things are made so cheap, I could practically rub it off with my thumb. Fucking banks. I hate them.
This was a brand new ATM card, too. I had ordered it three weeks ago after the one I'd been using got demagnetized - most likely by the internal magnetics of my work badges.
But it was a Saturday. So that suggests a zero percent chance that I left my ATM card - or anything else - behind at the office.

All my cards typically live on my bed or in yesterday's pants pockets over the weekend until magically they're all in Monday's pants pockets. Pant pockets? Pants pockets. Monday's pants's pockets.

Anyway, I'm screwed. I can retrace my steps if you want but that won't do much good since I first noticed it missing two weeks ago.

Yes, it has taken me a long time to deal with this urgent situation. Don't bug me about it. I thought maybe it was just a "phase" my ATM card was going through but no, it's lost. It's gone.

 

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