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eCommerce Nanoseconds

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Today's column is perhaps the most important document of the 20th century. I can't find my wallet and my ATM card's in it. I need everyone to please help me look for it. I'm going to ask that we all please rise from our chairs and divide up into teams and collectively retrace my steps.
My ATM card is typically the first and only item I make a point to grab before leaving the house.

I don't even really need my driver's license anymore. Nobody looks at it, nobody uses it as a tool to verify my actual identity. My "signature" might just as well be a random scribble.
Sometimes I get worried that if I go outside unprepared, cops will harass me for not having any ID. They'll use it as an arbitrary excuse to haul me away as a vagrant. I'll be fined and fingerprinted. My whole entire world will come crashing down around me.

That's not paranoid, it's just the stuff you think about when you can't find your wallet!
And technically it's not a “wallet”, it's just my driver's license and ATM card and badges for work next to each other.

Not rubber banded or grouped, but loose and free to slap together & slide around or do whatever they need to do.